The Inner Life of Pets

I have often wondered about this, as you do :-) , and what strikes me is how boring a pets life must be. Probably not for a cat or a dog for at least these two are free to come and go as they please, They are hugged and cuddled and taken for walks (at least a dog is and a cat tends to walk itself, hence the cat flap), they are part of the family- sleeping in our beds, hopping up on our laps to settle down and watch TV, they nibble off our plates (go on you know you’ve allowed this once or twice) at dinner time and they make great feet warmers on cold winter nights.

But imagine yourself as a bird. Locked in a cage, your freedom taken away from you. Your wings clipped so even when you are let out of your cage, you still can’t fly. I have never liked the idea of having a bird as a pet for this very reason. I will admit though that when I was growing up, we had a pet parrot and for the 6 or more years that we had her, she was kept in her cage and although she was let out everyday her wings had been clipped so all she could do was waddle her way up and down our arms or the branch of the tree she was sat on. And then one morning we woke up and Coco was gone. All that was left of her were a few feathers and her feet! To this day, we never found out what happened to her – was she eaten by a snake who found the feet to unpalatable and so regurgitated them? Or did she morph into a fairy and fly away? I prefer the latter, but we’ll never know.

Musing over what sort of thoughts may be going through a birds mind, I wrote up this little sketch called ‘A Day in the Life of a Disgruntled Pet Parrot’

6:00 am- ‘Where’s everybody? Can’t they see the sun’s risen? Do I have to screech at the top of my lungs EVERY MORNING to get them to take the covers of this damn cage??’

7:00 am- ‘Sunflower seeds… again??? How about a change of diet here? Never heard of variety being the spice of life, eh? The next human who sticks his finger in my cage ….’

7:15 am- ‘Hee hee – yum that tasted good! Teach you to stick your finger in my cage next time! Hmmm, I could develop a taste for steak tartare here.’

10:00 am- ‘I’ve preened, I’ve cleaned, I’ve nibbled, I’ve pooped, I’ve stood on one leg, I’ve whistled … what next?’

10:05 am- ‘Lets face it. I’m bored. I am so bored I can rip all my feathers out. I used to do that, but the humans thought I had caught some sort of bird disease and carted me off to the vet. Nasty experience so I don't do that anymore.'

11:00 am- 'What I wouldn’t give to be out there with my mates, flying through the skies, feeling the wind beneath my wings. *Sigh*. Life sucks. I think I’m going to have a nap now. Not much else to do, is there?’

1:00 pm- ‘I can’t believe that for the last 45mins I have had a human pressing his face up against my cage trying to get me to say ‘Who’s a pretty Polly then?’. Now why in heavens name would I want to learn how to say that??? Of what use is it except to delight the humans who stand around clapping like I have just given a rendition of Beethoven’s Concerto. Sorry sods! Nothing better to do with their time. Coming to think of it I’ve got nothing better to do with mine either.’

1:30pm- ‘Polly! Why Polly? My name is Roger! And I am not pretty!!’

2:30pm- ‘What a life! There must be more to it than this. When am I going to be let outta here??!!’

5:00pm- ‘Yay! I was let out!! I was put on the branch of the apple tree and left to my own devices. My wings are clipped you see, so no danger of my flying off. Had lots of my mates come to visit. Maggie the Magpie, Sam the Swallow and Richard the Robin, all full of tales of their airborne adventures. I didn’t have much to contribute. I mean who is interested in my life boring as it is stuck in a cage? *sigh* It was good to see them all though, brightened up my day it did. I had tears in my eyes – oh, didn’t you know parrots could cry? – when the humans came and fetched me in again.’

7:00pm- ‘It’s bedtime now. The maroon coloured velvet cage cover has been thrown on – so it’s lights out whether I like it or not. Goodnight!’