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101 Things in 1001 Days: Why I Live Where I Live

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Why I Live Where I Live

...my TALE of Why I live where I lIVE...

Ahh, how this takes me back.

I have come to live where I live quite by chance and under circumstances which at the time were very heart breaking but now looking back was merely God working hard behind the scenes to pull things together for me. This is a story of ultimatums, hard decisions, trusting God and good old fashioned love winning out. So sit back and enjoy my little tale.

Having met my husband in my final year while he, on the other hand, was just in his first year of university and knowing almost straight away that he was the man I was going to marry (isn’t it amazing how a woman just knows when she meets THE ONE), I settled in for a long wait before the question would be popped. Hmm, I reckoned, I would give him six years. Four years to finish university and another two for him to settle down and plant his feet down in the real world.

Ten years later I was still waiting.

Oh, its not that he didn’t love me. On the contrary he was crazy about me. We were soul mates – we did everything and went everywhere together. But, as I believe it happens to many men, when it came to marriage a case of cold feet stepped in. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Many tears, tantrums, threats and hours and hours of discussions between us and discussions with myself later, I decided to issue an ultimatum. Marry me or else…….

Four weeks later I am sitting on a plane and heading 6000 miles across the Atlantic Ocean to England. Oh, did I mention that the ‘or else’ won out?

Heartbroken but determined to make the most of it; I flung myself into building a new life in England. I moved into a shared house, fortunately one of my best friends was living there as well so that made things a lot easier as she showed me the ropes and was a shoulder to cry on on those days when wave, upon wave of self doubt plagued me. Did I do the right thing? Am I ever going to adapt to life here? IIIIIIIIIII miiiiiiiiissssssssssssss hhhhhhhhhiiiiiiiiiimmmmmmm!!!!!!!!! This was the killer.

But then something happened: many months of telephone calls ( my phone bill was horrendous), hours spent on MSN messenger and a couple of visits to see ourselves in-between, my husband realised that the pain of being without me far out weighted the pain of being with me. Plus and this is a plus, he loved me more than anything on earth. And one sunny summer day, while chatting on the MSN messenger, he popped the question. Now isn’t that romantic and a first? Do you know of anyone else who was asked for her hand in marriage via MSN messenger? I still have a print out of that conversation as proof. Hehehehehe.

Six months later, we where married (back home) in a lovely little evening ceremony surrounded by family and friends. We came back to England were we had our week long honeymoon after which he flew back again. Please don't ask how much we spent back then on air tickets. Considering we were flying between continents, I can assure you it was A LOT.

It was another year before we were finally together - in England. Yes, we remained here and now it's our adopted home and we love it. We’ve been married almost five years now, have a gorgeous little three year old, bought a house and are planning for number two. We look back now at those days and laugh about it. But I can tell you we weren’t laughing much at the time.

And that’s the story of how I have come to live where I live.

Disclaimer: Issuing ultimatums do not always work and may backfire on you. So unless you are almost 100% sure it will work in your favour, don’t do it!


Blogger Shuku said...

I couldn't help but laugh with tears edging my eyes when I read this. It rings so very true. 'Ten years later I was still waiting'. Isn't it amazing, sometimes, how -long- we wait for men to make up their minds? Thank you for this beautiful reminiscence. I am so glad it all turned out wonderfully for you.

--Shuku, Sunday Scribblings

Sunday, April 30, 2006  
Blogger AnnieElf said...

This is just terrific. I was grinning from ear to ear as I read. The MSN proposal was great. Hope you framed that printout.

Sunday, April 30, 2006  
Blogger Susannah said...

a wonderful tale! thank you for sharing it with us :-)

Sunday, April 30, 2006  
Anonymous susanlavonne said...

You had me holding my breath for a happy ending....so glad you got it!

Sunday, April 30, 2006  
Anonymous Jennifer (she said) said...

i appreciate the warning at the end about ultimatums but oh how happy i am to hear a happy ending. i can never get enough of those :-)

Sunday, April 30, 2006  
Anonymous beansprout said...

Amazing story! I'm glad that your love for one another won out in the end. Are you planning for house number 2 or child number 2?

Sunday, April 30, 2006  
Blogger Jennifer said...

Wow. What a story. Ten years and an IM proposal!

Sunday, April 30, 2006  
Anonymous hundred and one said...

Glad you enjoyed my tale everyone. It could have ended very differently.

@beansprout: baby number two!! A second house would be nice as well though.

Sunday, April 30, 2006  
Blogger paris parfait said...

Love it! So glad you had a happy ending. And that you're both in England, enjoying your life. Thanks for your great story!

Sunday, April 30, 2006  
Blogger andrea said...

This was a fantastic read. I loved every line, every moment you shared.

Congrats! Just awesome.

Sunday, April 30, 2006  
Blogger Kristine said...

I really enjoyed reading this. I smiled at the disclaimer. I have seen it backfire with some of my friends...

Monday, May 01, 2006  
Blogger Onada said...

wow! this is like a love story to write about :) should i try the ultimatum thing? LOL

Monday, May 01, 2006  
Blogger melba said...

I love a happy ending! and I completely believe it all works out if we let it...if we believe in ourselves first and I guess that is what you needed to do. Wonderful to hear about your happiness!

Tuesday, May 02, 2006  
Blogger gkgirl said...

this was a great story...
i loved it...
proposing on msn...

Tuesday, May 02, 2006  
Blogger BGCTY said...

OMG I love romantic stories!!I'm so glad it worked out:)

Thursday, May 04, 2006  
Blogger BGCTY said...

BTW, you should make this into an activity.....!

Friday, May 05, 2006  

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