Burnt Out

So three days into NaBloPoMo and I’ve crashed and burnt. But quite frankly there was nothing I could have done about it. I have been really, really sick these last few days. My morning sickness is not abating if anything, it’s getting worse. It’s wearing me out and leaving me frazzled so much so that the last thing I want to do is sit in from of my PC blogging. The creative side of my brain is on hiatus as well. I’ll still try and post but I can’t make any promises.

Morning

I open my eyes and find its early morning
I can see the first rays of light
Coming through the windows
I lower my eyes and watch you sleeping
You look so beautiful and at peace
Sleeping there beside me
And my heart almost bursts with my love for you
This is the picture of you
I carry with me always
My beautiful lover asleep in my bed

And I pretend that when you awake
You’ll hold me in your arms
And tell me how much I mean to you
And how you’ll never let me go
And I in turn will promise you
My everlasting love
And then we’ll make slow sweet love
And lay in each other’s arms
Till the evening comes
But all this happens in my mind only

In reality…
I open my eyes and find its early morning
Because I can see the rays of light
Coming through the windows
I lie stiffly beside you
Fearing I would wake you if I turn
But I need not worry
You awake presently with a little grunt
Then you turn and look at me
And ask why I’m staring at you in such a funny way
I lower my eyes and give no reason
No time will ever be right
To tell you how much I love you
So I don’t even bother to try

You switch on the radio
And drift in and out of light sleep
Suddenly with a start you sit up
Drawing the covers around your body
The same body which you let me
Look upon so freely the night before
Now I in turn feel embarrassed at my nakedness
But I understand
That was last night
And this is early morning
You have ceased to belong to me

You search for your watch or ask me the time
I tell you its half past eight
With a muttered curse and one quick movement
You’re out of bed and climbing into your jeans
You’re pulling on your shirt
And grabbing my toothbrush
In less than seven minutes
You’re dressed and ready to go
I give you a bright smile
And pretend I don’t care
With not a goodbye kiss
But a carefree ‘I’ll see you sometime’
You open my door and you’re gone

I have no right to ask
If I’ll see you later or tomorrow
You ceased to give me that privilege a long time ago
I’m left empty and confused
All I know is that sometime next week
There’ll be a knock on my door
And there you’ll be
Smiling brightly at me
You’re arrived for our weekly coupling
And we’ll go through the same cycle
When early morning comes

This poem, which I entitled 'Early Morning', was written some 15 years ago but I think it fits in nicely with this weeks' prompt.

Whats in Your Handbag?

I was looking at my handbag today and it struck me that as innocent as it appears to be it contains a small fortune and should I ever, God forbid, be mugged it would make for one happy mugger.

The bag I carry at the moment is a relatively cheap one from The Gap made from canvas and cost me all of £5 in the sale, but take a look inside and you’ll find it contains a small treasure trove. In it you’ll find my

Mobile Phone £100
iPod £300
Credit card £2500
Debit Card £500

Other bits and bobs – make-up bag, ID, house keys, drivers license, various store point cards, address book – which are all priceless to me.

When you work it out it’s a small fortune being carried around in a £5 handbag.

What are your handbag contents worth?

Day 3: NaBloPoMo

A Cop Out and A Plan of Action

Okay. I have to admit that my first post for NaBloPoMo was a bit of a cop out. I posted a poem I wrote, oh, perhaps 15 years ago or so but I knew if I didn’t post something, I was in dire danger of not posting anything at all. You see, I have been as sick as a dog.

Being 8 weeks pregnant, morning sickness has not been kind to me at all. My days are consumed with walking a mine field of foods I can and cannot stomach (pardon the pun) and its tough going. And along with the contents of my stomach, I seem to flush away a bit of my brain down the toilet each time. I am also plagued with exhaustion and all I want to do is just lie in bed and vegetate. And the below zero temperatures that have suddenly hit the West Midlands is not helping matters either.

But enough of the moaning – at least I posted something.

I’ve been wondering if I want to theme my postings for NaBloPoMo but I don’t think so as I cannot imagine a single theme being able to hold my attention (and those of my few loyal readers) for the next 30days. So I think I shall cover a variety of random subjects over the next month – and perhaps make a list of the subjects to post on each day to help me out like this other blogger has done. Talk about being organized, huh?

And to all NaBloPoMo - ers – have you taken a look at the final list of all the participants????????????? OMG!  My initial plan was to visit every participant’s blog each day, leaving comments here and there but after taking a look at the list that plan has gone straight out of the window. There are 400+ bloggers taking part. Can you imagine reading each and every post of each and every participant each and every day? The mere thought of it makes my mind boggle.

Day 2: NaBloPoMo

Lying Seasons

We met upon one midnight blue
And both swore that we’d be true
But even as we kissed with drawn out sighs
We both knew those words were lies

We met upon a summer’s gale
And made those same oaths again and again
But as we turned from each other we smiled
For once again we had just both lied

We met upon the season’s fall
Over by the flower section of the market stall
You bought a rose for the beauty on your arm
And I got an orchid from my prince so full of charm

We met upon one wintery night
And laughed at how we both had lied
And when we stopped we laid to rest
The empty promises we’d made in jest


Day one: For NabloPoMo