Loneliness

How well I know you
We have embraced each other
Oft in the years past

Your embrace is cold
And your kiss steals joy from life
Yet I let you in

It’s been a while now
Since you’ve called to say hello
But missed you are not

Change

Be the change you want to see in the world – Mahatma Ghandi

How I love this word. Just letting it roll off my tongue creates a rolling excitement within me.

It’s a word that suggests adventure, discovery, the promise of something new, momentum. But in order to jump start change you have to take that first step, decision, to do something different that would bring about a - your - desired end. And it’s taking that first step that sometimes proves to be so difficult challenging.

I should know because I’ve been at that point so many times. I bitch and whinge and moan about how mundane and boring my life is. I cannot recall how many times I have observed out loud that I seem to walking on a spot and not going anywhere. EVERYONE ELSE seems to be living the life I want to live or doing that one thing that I would love to be doing. And yet, if I have not made that change – either in a daily habit or in my thought processes or simply by getting off my butt and just doing it – how can I expect to live the life I dream of?

A different life waits
If only I make the change
It is that simple

Closeness

During a recent and rare heart to heart, my husband and I both admitted that we did not feel as close to each other as we once did. It was sad to hear for both parties. ‘What happened?’ we questioned.

Life happened that’s what.

Caught up in the busyness of life – him with his work and me with the kids and the home – we gradually lost the closeness between us. But the good news is we want it back and realising how important it is for us, our relationship and our marriage brings us one step closer.

Lovers yet strangers
Tentatively we reach out
Searching for closeness

Bridges

Before this weeks prompt, I had always thought of bridges in very physical terms i.e a structure that is built to ferry us across a little stream, valley or a body of fast flowing water. But on reflection bridges are much more than that – much more than physical structures. Bridges can also be emotional or spiritual ‘structures’.

Over the years, I have mended bridges of friendship, built bridges of reconciliation, burnt (emotional) bridges and destroyed bridges of past baggage. I have crossed bridges to the unknown, sat on bridges of self doubt and been a bridge myself of trust, communication and commitment.

Indeed, the humble bridge is so much more than what it appears.

The Future I

My future beckons
From across a shaky bridge
I tread cautiously

The Future II

Your journey begins
Across it’s firm wooden planks
Walk with confidence

Shelter

I dash for cover
Underneath the broad green leaves
Rain drops kept at bay


The dirt gives gently
As the earthworm burrows down
Seeking safe shelter

Dusk/Twilight

I really enjoyed this prompt.

An owl hoots its tune
The clouds huddle together
The sun winks goodnight

As the sky displays
Its kaleidoscope of hues
The moon dances in

As the day closes
I shut its doors knowing that
Tomorrow awaits

Sleep steals in quietly
The thief feels familiar
I allow him in

Roots/Connection

This week at One Deep Breath, we are asked to take a closer, more contemplative look at our connection with nature. Here are my connections...

1.

Mother Earth

We take, plunder, grab

Feeding off you hungrily

Till it all runs out

2.

A field of flowers

Small, bright, delicate

Your colours give me pleasure

Soft scents on the breeze

Process/Craft

1.

(My writing process)

Pen between my teeth

Paper staring back blankly

Idea, where art thou?

2.

(My sewing/craft process)

Silks, cotton, velvets

I cut the cloth within which

A pretty dress hides

3.

(My unwinding process)

Mug of tea in hand

Warm blanket wrapped around me

My time to relax

I squeeze a little tighter

On the 1st of January a friend of many years died suddenly. This poem has been inspired by her death.

I Squeeze a Little Tighter

When I hug I squeeze a little tighter
When I kiss I kiss a little longer
When I speak I speak a little softer
When I smile I smile a little warmer
When I touch I touch a little firmer

When I listen I listen with a little more interest
When I search I search for a little more understanding
When I question I question with a purpose
When I see I see with a little more clarity

When I am tempted to complain
I stop
Think of you
And I squeeze a little tighter

Morning

I open my eyes and find its early morning
I can see the first rays of light
Coming through the windows
I lower my eyes and watch you sleeping
You look so beautiful and at peace
Sleeping there beside me
And my heart almost bursts with my love for you
This is the picture of you
I carry with me always
My beautiful lover asleep in my bed

And I pretend that when you awake
You’ll hold me in your arms
And tell me how much I mean to you
And how you’ll never let me go
And I in turn will promise you
My everlasting love
And then we’ll make slow sweet love
And lay in each other’s arms
Till the evening comes
But all this happens in my mind only

In reality…
I open my eyes and find its early morning
Because I can see the rays of light
Coming through the windows
I lie stiffly beside you
Fearing I would wake you if I turn
But I need not worry
You awake presently with a little grunt
Then you turn and look at me
And ask why I’m staring at you in such a funny way
I lower my eyes and give no reason
No time will ever be right
To tell you how much I love you
So I don’t even bother to try

You switch on the radio
And drift in and out of light sleep
Suddenly with a start you sit up
Drawing the covers around your body
The same body which you let me
Look upon so freely the night before
Now I in turn feel embarrassed at my nakedness
But I understand
That was last night
And this is early morning
You have ceased to belong to me

You search for your watch or ask me the time
I tell you its half past eight
With a muttered curse and one quick movement
You’re out of bed and climbing into your jeans
You’re pulling on your shirt
And grabbing my toothbrush
In less than seven minutes
You’re dressed and ready to go
I give you a bright smile
And pretend I don’t care
With not a goodbye kiss
But a carefree ‘I’ll see you sometime’
You open my door and you’re gone

I have no right to ask
If I’ll see you later or tomorrow
You ceased to give me that privilege a long time ago
I’m left empty and confused
All I know is that sometime next week
There’ll be a knock on my door
And there you’ll be
Smiling brightly at me
You’re arrived for our weekly coupling
And we’ll go through the same cycle
When early morning comes

This poem, which I entitled 'Early Morning', was written some 15 years ago but I think it fits in nicely with this weeks' prompt.

Lying Seasons

We met upon one midnight blue
And both swore that we’d be true
But even as we kissed with drawn out sighs
We both knew those words were lies

We met upon a summer’s gale
And made those same oaths again and again
But as we turned from each other we smiled
For once again we had just both lied

We met upon the season’s fall
Over by the flower section of the market stall
You bought a rose for the beauty on your arm
And I got an orchid from my prince so full of charm

We met upon one wintery night
And laughed at how we both had lied
And when we stopped we laid to rest
The empty promises we’d made in jest


Day one: For NabloPoMo

Good

It was good, he said, for them to get together
He was the high school heartthrob
She was the high school beauty
Together they would make a great team

It was good, he said, to cut class once in a while
The world was passing them by
While they sat stuck in a classroom
At their age it was all about freedom not books

It was good, he said, for them to have sex
They would make music together
They would fit perfectly
After all everyone was doing it

It was good, he said, to get rid of it
At seventeen who wants to be lumbered with a baby
Their lives stretched ahead of them
Why ruin it because of one mistake

It was good, he said, to go to the party
Never mind if her parents didn’t consent
Sneak out when everyone is fast asleep
And meet me at the corner by the willow tree

It was good, he said, to be bad once in a while
To borrow dads car with out permission
Without a licence
That’s what life is about, taking risks, living on the edge

It was good, he said, to have a little drink
To take a little pill
To get a little high
To get a little wild

It was all good, he said, he wasn’t drunk
Get in the car, turn the music up
Wind the windows down
Feel the speed, the wind in your hair

They were found an hour later
Wrapped around a tree
A violent end to two young lives
And that wasn’t so good after all.

Simple Pleasures

1.
Four pregnancy tests
All show me double blue lines
Success, baby's here!

2.
Sunflowers blooming
On a dull October day
Puddles of sunshine

Countryside

1.
Narrow winding lanes
Look left, look right, left again
A hedgehog crossing


2.
Driving past green fields
Windows down breathing fresh air
Lovely smell of dung


For One Deep Breath