Free Fall

My friend watched a woman jump to her death this morning from the fourteenth floor of a building. She said the woman fell in a sitting position with her satchel bag strapped across her chest and clutched to her side. She was in her 40’s. There was a dull thud as the body hit the pavement. There was immediate commotion as people ran to the scene holding mobile phones to their ears. There was the wail of a siren in the distance. Who was this woman? What made her jump? Was life so unbearable that suicide was her only option?

(100 Words)

Skin

At the age of 36, I am only just becoming comfortable in my own skin. I am discovering what works for me – what sort of books I really enjoy reading, the clothes and colours that suit me, what friends to keep and which ones to do away with (only in the literary sense of course), what foods to avoid and which ones to consume in copious amounts and how to treat my Self with respect and gentleness. In other words, I am discovering myself as I never did in my teens and twenties.


In my twenties, I engaged in a few disastrous relationships that in hindsight I should have avoided like the plague. I conformed to the wants of the other person and so was never really myself. They liked to party then so did I, they skived off lectures then so did I, they loved fast motor bikes then so did I – you get the picture? It was always about the other person. I moulded myself to what they wanted because I wanted to be a part of something – a relationship – no matter how unhealthy it was. But there you go. I am sure this is a familiar pattern with many of you as well. I sort of darted through those years directionless and unsure of who I was and what I really wanted out of life and quite frankly, I didn’t give it much thought – life was too fun.

My twenties also spelt lots, and I mean LOTS, of fashion bloops. I was the type of girl who hung onto every word the glossies would tell you about what was in and what was out. I would wear those built in shoulder pads that planes could taxi off even if it killed me! Oh, how I cringe when I see photos of myself from the 80’s and the early 90’s. HOW COULD I EVER HAVE WORN THOSE CLOTHES?? Somebody shoot me!! I would destroy them all if I had my way, but I have to keep something for my daughter to laugh about in the years to come.

I think I really started to try my own skin on for size when I relocated to live in England. At 30, I was all alone for the first time – far away from my comfort zones which were family and my then estranged boyfriend (now husband). I had no choice but to discover the stuff I was made of. It was either accept defeat and return home with my tail between my legs or accept the challenge and embrace the next chapter in my life with abandon. I chose to embrace. And between the ages of 30 and 32 I grew so much – not in terms of size, but in terms of discovering myself, my strengths, my abilities, my likes and dislikes, and navigating, on my own, in my way, the stepping stones that will lead me to where I wanted to be.

And now fast approaching my thirty seventh birthday, there is no more pretence. Being a mum and most especially a wife gives you no other option but to be yourself. If you’re not then you are faced with being someone else for the rest of your life and your family will never have the joy or misfortune (as the case sometimes is) of experiencing the genuine you.


So I am myself now. Not anyone else. I am far more confident now than I was in my twenties. I speak up for myself and if I don’t like something I don’t hesitate to say so, diplomatically of course. I don’t follow the crowd and neither do I live a life that has been deemed the ‘right’ one to live by the experts. I wear my own skin, and I wear it well. It has the odd wrinkle here and a few stretch marks there – but I think they suit me. They are the battle scars of life that say Been There and Done That. I look forward to stretching my skin a bit more in the years ahead – new challenges, lifestyle changes and if all goes well, another baby perhaps.

And after all is said and done, I know I would much rather wear my own skin than anyone else’s.

A Spotty Affair

As I am going though a bit of a spotty phase, I bought a product that claims to be a ‘blackhead clearing’ cleanser and it’s accompanying ‘dual action’ moisturiser. In addition to using them everyday religiously, I am cutting down on butter and fried foods (the cause of my spotty predicament). However, I have noticed a strange phenomenon – my spots are getting worse! This leads me to conclude that the products are really designed to make you break out more so that you go and buy even more of their wonder products – earning them a small fortune at your expense.

(100 Words)

In Love

I have utterly and hopelessly fallen in love with Paris. I trawl the internet for books and bits of information on the city. It’s strange but it didn’t have such an impact on me the first time I was in Paris nearly two years ago – perhaps because my daughter was just two at the time and still very needy so I didn’t have the time to pay much attention to my surroundings – but this time I did and I liked, very much, what I saw. The way of life, cosmopolitan, yet seeped in culture is something that is missing here.

(100 Words)

Work

It was crazy busy at work today. It never seizes to amaze me just how much work can pile up in as little as two weeks. I also find very amusing the glee with which your work colleagues fill you in with all the bad news before you’ve managed to get your feet under your table - you can almost see them rubbing their hands in glee. One day at work and it’s like I never left at all. Piles of expense claims, new applications and invoices to be processed are what await me tomorrow. Looking forward to it. …NOT.

(100 Words)

Habit

I ought to have ended this project of writing one hundred words each day for a month on the 22nd but as I missed out a couple of entries I will carry on until the end of September and perhaps for a few days longer. I am very pleased that I actually stuck with it – something I have not been very good at doing for the past couple of years. And it is true what ‘they’ say, if you stick with something consistently, it becomes a habit. Now without even thinking I can convey my thoughts in a hundred words.

(100 Words)

Getting things in Order

The last few days since we got back have been pretty manic. I am one of those people who cannot think straight if her house is not in ORDER so that is exactly what I have been busy doing. However, although I now have a very clean house, it’s kept me away from blogging. I also sank into a mini depression on my return– everything here seems so drab and dull. The ‘sameness’ of the surroundings (the houses, the people) is so bleak compared to the cosmopolitan feel of Paris and I miss that. Perhaps I should think of relocating?

(100 Words)

Instructions

I don’t know where this little set of instructions originated from but I love them

Instructions for Sowing and Reaping

Sow a Thought
Reap a Word

Sow a Word
Reap an Action

Sow an Action
Reap a Habit

Sow a Habit
Reap a Character

Sow a Character
Reap a Destiny

Every Woman Needs One

Wouldn't you agree?

Back Home

I’m back home and still trying to recover from the trip. I spent the day house cleaning and down at the outdoor market stocking up on fruit and vegetables as I am going on a detox for the next one month in hopes of returning to my svelte pre-baby figure. Besides my skin is awful at the moment – a tell tale sign that I had too many croissants and thickly buttered baguettes. Strange to think only two days ago I was some place else – it feels as though I haven’t been anywhere and I am ready for another holiday. *sigh*

(100 Words)

All Good Things...

All good things come to an end the saying goes. It is our last night in Paris and I am busy getting our things together and packing them into our suitcases. All the sightseeing I’ve done is finally telling on me – I am totally exhausted and my feet are swollen from all the hundreds of miles I have walked in the last ten days. And as much as I hate the fact that my holiday has come to an end, I am looking forward to being home again, not living out of a suitcase and sleeping in my own bed.

(100 Words)

Stuff

I have far too much stuff. Too many clothes, too many shoes and a freezer that’s full to bursting and still I go out and buy more. Being away from home has made me realize just how little I need. So here’s my resolution; I am going to clear out my wardrobe, clear out my freezer (a chance to try out new recipes) and I am going to use up every last bottle of liquid soap that I have before rushing off to buy some more. No more falling for buy one get one free, 50% off offers. I promise.

(100 Words)

Slow Sunday

Apparently, everything shuts down in Paris on a Sunday. No shops are open, at least not around where we are staying, and little else happens. How refreshing to have a day of rest, where the shops are shut and people are forced encouraged to stay at home with family or go for a nice long walk and just enjoy life for a change. Most people back home spend Sundays dashing from one high street shop to another in a frenzy of uncontrolled spending. Today I shall relax, go for a walk and enjoy the slow pace of life around me.

(100 Words)

Snippets of Life

The friend with whom I am staying lives on the 8th floor in a roomy apartment with large windows and a balcony on which I like to sit in the late evening observing the goings on around me. My favorite thing is to watch the happenings in many apartments surrounding us. Like the lady making herself a midnight snack, or the couple sitting on their balcony chatting and sipping wine, or the man who looked like he was getting ready for a night out. And me? I just watch quietly enjoying these snippets of the lives I see around me.

(100 Words)

Parade Of Daily Adventure

Being inspired by the style of French women, here’s is my ‘new me’ PODA list:

1. Detox
2. Take better care of my body
3. Watch what I eat
4. Exercise – walk more
5. Drink a bottle of water a day
6. Have a beauty routine
7. Coordinate my clothes, accessories and shoes
8. Walk at a slower pace

Up the Eiffel Tower

Went right up to the top of the Eiffel Tower! The view from the top is absolutely amazing; you get a real birds eye view of the city. My ‘what- scares- me- kills- seven- elephants’ unshakeable hubby was having second thoughts as we approached the second level of the tower and asked if it was a good idea that we had bought the tickets to take us right to the top. I, on the other hand, who is scared of flying and doesn’t exactly like heights, loved it! Strange to be 1000ft off the ground and still feel so safe.

(100 Words)

On Weight

Where are all the fat women in the city of Paris? Hand across my heart, in the three days I have been here, I have honestly not seen one overweight woman. How do they do it? What do they eat? Do they eat? I am certainly not fat but I feel ungainly next to the French women who whizz (actually they don’t whizz, they saunter) past me on the streets. Although I read the book, French women don’t get fat, I felt that the writer came across as being a bit smug. But perhaps Mireille Guiliano was right after all.

(100 Words)

Parisian Women

I must give it to French women; they’ve got style! I have seen more stylish women here in the last 24 hours than I seen over the last six months in England. The women here know how to pull an outfit together. A little scarf around the neck, a pair of shoes that match the bag or belt and viola, a simple outfit is transformed. And they all seem to have their own individual style. Back home the women all look the same; one great big sea of jeans, t-shirts and blond hair. Parisian women give me hope and inspiration.

(100 Words)

Mums Not Allowed

Paris is not the city for you if you are a mum with a toddler in a pushchair. Very few of the metro stations have disabled access, which makes travelling with a pushchair very frustrating and next to impossible. And when they do have disabled access, the glass swing doors are always locked and mostly unmanned. A few of them do have a speaker system through which you can request assistance but it’s a tedious process. And even when you do manage to get over this hurdle, you then have the steps to contend with. Paris screams 'mums not allowed!!'

(100 Words)

We're Here!!

We landed at Orly Airport yesterday to 20 degrees at 9a.m!! The weather was fantastic and it promises to be the same today. I stuffed my face with baguettes (in my humble opinion England has been left far behind in the bread stakes – they make awful bread), spicy salami and this morning I am off to the bakery round the corner to get some fresh croissants. Not quite sure what we are going to do today – I think we’ll take a boat ride down the river Seine. But my goodness, I had completely forgotten just how expensive Paris can be.

(100 Words)

Off to Paris!!

Why is it that although you know three weeks in advance that you’ll be going on holiday you still wait to the last minute to get your foreign exchange, pack your bags, empty them out and repack at least three times!!!, go to the hairdressers, shave your legs etc? But, at last, I am all set and ready to go. This blog may be dormant for the next 10 days while I’m away, don’t know what access I will have to the internet. I shall miss Sunday scribblings and reading my favourite blogs *sigh*. Have fun everyone – I certainly will.

(100 Words)

Friendly Conversation

I envy the ease with which my daughter makes friends. She strikes up conversation with young and old alike, charming them with her ready smile and warm personality. She is a real social creature- just like her dad. I am the opposite. I get weary simply at the thought of making new friends – the ice breaker conversations, the build up, the testing of the waters. I find it all so draining. And that’s why I sometimes come off as being aloof. I’m not – I am just no good at striking up conversation that’s all. I leave that to my daughter.

(100 Words)

Countryside

There is something about driving through the countryside that always makes me want to move there – funny way for a person who has never lived in the countryside to feel. But there is something about driving past the fields of growing grain, looking at the huge barrel-like bundles of hay laying about lazily waiting to be carried off and watching the cows and sheep graze that is all at once so unreal and far removed from city dwelling but so … sane. Perhaps it’s a romanticised view of mine but that doesn’t change the fact that I wouldn’t mind moving there.

(100 Words)

I Would Never Write...

I thought I would never be able to write a post for this prompt.
I was right…

Compromise

I am in a less angry place tonight but I am terribly tired – lack of sleep and too many tears.  Why was I so angry? Well, a bad decision (not mine) was made without me being consulted which has resulted in my much anticipated ten day trip to Paris being adversely affected. I was on the verge of cancelling the (non-refundable) tickets but a little thing called compromise was reached and we’re still going. The compromise reached is far from perfect but it will have to do. The ambers of anger have cooled but the hurt still remains.

(100 words)

Waiting to See

I have been in a very angry place today. I am still angry and the ferocity of my anger has been draining. My whole body aches and I have lost my appetite. I can taste the furry bitter sour taste of disappointment residing on my tongue and I can’t get rid of it. I am bitterly disappointed and I do not have the words to describe my emotions. I don’t think I really want to either because I may write something I will regret. Perhaps tomorrow I will feel better. I'll just have to wait and see. Wait and see.

(100 Words)

Angry. Mad. Furious

I am so angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry, angry mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, , mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, mad, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, furious, that I don’t even have the words. I am beside myself with anger.

(100 Words)

Ordinary Day

Today has been an ordinary day. Not much happened – did some cooking, ironing, eating- in that order. Watched a few hours of Oprah (disc 4 of my 20th anniversary box set – if you haven’t got it PLEASE go out and get it. So inspirational). Just got in from a visit to the Botanical Gardens (one of my favourite places now) with hubby and daughter, where we met a lovely German couple who just moved over here a couple of weeks ago and I got a chance to try out my rusty German on them. A very slow paced, ordinary day.

(100 Words)

Not Ashamed

I don’t ever want to be ashamed of who I am, the life I’ve lived, the choices I’ve made, the company I keep, the music I listen to, the colour I am, the God I believe in, the books I read, the road I choose to travel down, the family I come from, the things I think are fun, the friends I spend time with, the music I like, the clothes I wear, how much I earn, the way I speak, the food I eat, the car I drive, the job I work. Just thought you ought to know that.

(100 Words)

Hello Stranger

Our worst behaviour is often saved for the ones we claim to love. We are often rude, dismissive and verbally offensive to them. But with strangers, our words are carefully weighed, not wanting to offend, wanting them to be left with a good impression of us imprinted on their minds. But don’t our loved ones deserve the same treatment of respect, thoughtfulness, consideration, a ready smile? Sure I’m guilty of this but this is an Aha! for me. When next I open my mouth to speak I will stop, think and pretend my loved one is a stranger.

(100 Words)

Fortune Cookie

A recipe to make a Fortune, cookie.

Ingredients

4 – 6 good dreams
1 great Idea
750g Action
750g Focus
1kg Passion
1kg Planning
1kg Support
500g Resilience
750g Confidence (sometimes referred to as Faith)
3 – 6 Prayers (to taste or Optional)
1 Bank Manager OR 1- 3 Investors (Optional)
6 drops of tears (or to taste, sometimes optional)
1 – 2 cups Setbacks
1 or more Critics
Two months of worry (optional)
A few weeks’ sleepless nights (Optional)
A large pinch of Patience

Method

Mix your dreams gradually until you get a smooth dropping consistency which at this stage is now called a great idea. Pour in your planning carefully, taking great care to avoid getting any lumps- this can sometimes be a lengthy process.

Add the rest of your ingredients in rapid succession and give it a good hard stir. Pick out the critics at this point as they are not required anymore – leaving them in can make your mixture taste a bit strong and gives a bitter edge.

Pour your mixture into a large baking tin, giving it a good shake to let it spread evenly, allow to stand for a while.

Place your tin into your pre-heated oven, gas mark 4 or 180 degrees – slow baking is essential. You know it is ready when it has broken even or shows profit (determinable by you).

If successful, this recipe can be addictive and you’ll use it time and again. However, it is not foolproof and has been known to collapse in the middle if taken out of the oven too soon, or if all lumps were not beaten out. In this case, try it again or use another recipe. Enjoy!


PS: since I’ve only ever had a fortune cookie once in my life, and I can’t even remember what my fortune read, I decided to take liberties and twist this prompt a little.

And the weather today....

It never ceases to amuse me that in spite of weather warnings of heavy rains to come and gale force winds, most people still leave home without being armed with an umbrella. Why is that? Why would they rather walk around looking like a bedraggled cat with hair plastered to their heads , clothes soaked through, leather shoes squelching with every step and teeth chattering, than have a gadget on their person which opens up easily and- hey presto- remain reasonably dry? Perhaps it’s ‘uncool’ to carry a brolly, or simply burdensome. Are you one of those guilty of this?

(100 Words)

You Making You Happy

You generate your own happiness. To rely on another for it is not only leaving yourself very vulnerable and open to disappointment, but it’s also a huge burden on to place on another – the responsibility of making you happy. I have tried telling this to a colleague who believes that without a man, she cannot be happy. She falls for men who hurt her and yet she repeats the same patterns over and over. As she tells me about yet another beau, I can already tell it’s going to end in tears. Hers. But why can’t she just see this?

(100 Words)